Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Think Generous!

Shortly after we were married, I signed up for this daily email digest called "the Generous Wife" (likewise, my hubby gets companion elist, "the Generous Husband"). Everyday I receive an email with an idea on how I can bless my husband. (a mix of romantic, practical, sexual, relational, and spiritual). The tips aren't always appropriate for where we are.... but we are encouraged to take advantage of the ones that apply.... and then use the rest as a tool to spark your imagination, to find new ways to bless your husband.

Anyway, the subject lately has been a series "Things That Destroy Marriages"... talking to husbands about behaviors and attitudes that are destructive to marriage. Since the feedback from the series had been encouraging, they decided to send us wives the series... with a feminized/edit of the husband's tips and with a few more added that are more common to women.

Today's email esp. blessed me..

Tuesday July 22, 2008
From The Generous Husband series Things That Destroy Marriages ~.

From Paul to the husbands:
When you blow it, big time or in a minor way, do you deal with it in a way that blesses your bride? Do you apologize? Do you deal with it in a way that makes her feel you understand why your actions (or words) were wrong or painful? More than all of this, do you really repent - that is to change direction - make a real effort to not repeat what you have apologized for? If you are repeatedly apologizing for the same thing, something is wrong. If you care about her, you don't want to hurt her, and if you keep hurting her over and over for the same thing it quickly starts to look like you don't care.

By the way, you can also apologize for her feeling hurt by unintended consequences of something you say or do. Even though you didn't intend to hurt her, you can feel bad that you did.

But what about things that "shouldn't" hurt her but do? Maybe she is too sensitive about something - maybe she even admits she's too sensitive about something. Don't make it seem it's your fault if it's not, but you can say "I'm sorry that hurts."

My thoughts:

All of this is appropriate for us gals. Do say you're sorry when you've done something hurtful or wrong. Do be serious about changing when you need to. It's ok to say you're sorry over your spouse's pain, even when you haven't done anything wrong.

Never ruin an apology with an excuse. Kimberly Johnson

Think generous! Lori <><

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