Letting go of control....

I am not advocating letting children run wild, with no training or direction. God gave parents the responsibility to protect and train children to grow into adults. However, I believe that this looks much different than we were led to believe.

~ RecoveringGrace :: The Tree of Knowledge

For me, it's all about getting rid of arbitrary rules... and being more deliberate in choosing my battles. There are so many times my flesh wants to resist or correct something my LO is doing... whuch has absolutely no basis. "Why not?" is a regular mantra around here.  Why shouldn't she do XYZ... !?  Is it because it's not safe/good for her... or is it just because it annoys me/etc...?

And if it comes down to a matter of personal preference... then I usually find it's because I need to do a little heart searching. Because, even though it would be so much easier to just assert my authority, and make her do what I want...  that's not going to teach her a thing. There is no communication, there is no respect! Just because I am the parent/grownup does NOT automatically make my comfort/priorities/preferences greater or more important than hers!  And, in the end, she responds so, so SO much more positively, when I treat her with humility & the respect she deserves!

Good reminder

This really resounded with me.  I needed this reminder! ♥

You are a marvel. You are unique.

“Each second we live is a new and unique moment of the universe, a moment that will never be again. And what do we teach our children? We teach them that two and two make four, and that Paris is the capital of France. When will we also teach them what they are? We should say to each of them: Do you know what you are? You are a marvel. You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything. Yes, you are a marvel. And when you grow up, can you then harm another who is, like you, a marvel? You must work, we must all work, to make the world worthy of its children.”

~Pablo Picasso (Spanish Artist and Painter. 1881-1973)

Priorities...

Travel on...

To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. 

~Josh Billings

Irritated?

Do you ever feel irritated at your hubby.... what about your children?  This video is thought provoking and - though targeted towards spouses/the marriage relationship - it really applies to all relationships. It's definitely causing me reevaluate not only the way I respond to B... but also the way I sometimes respond to even KB...

"Parenthood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It's about understanding that they are exactly the person they are supposed to be. And that, if you're lucky, they just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be."

~ The Water Giver

The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow... but the rainbow won’t wait while you finish the work.

~ Pat Clifford

But even better.... is when you homeschool and can incorporate the rainbow into the work... ;-) 

Washday - n. - the opportunity to learn colors & develop sorting skills! ;-)

Clockwise from bottom left corner: 

Brown/khakis, blues, greens, pink/reds (behind her), black/greys (in basket), and purple

Parenting...

"All parents have good days and bad days, strengths and weaknesses. Lucky children have parents who care enough about them to be willing to grow and change as parents. " (Peaceful Parenting)

I took his hand and followed...

:: Rethinking Sociality ::

A mama from our Conscious Parenting group forward this out to out to the board... and it was just way too good to not share!  Definitely makes one think....

THE DAILY GROOVE

by Scott Noelle, posted on 2007-02-02
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: Rethinking Sociality, Part 2 ::
If you did the mindfulness exercise in Part 1 you may have noticed that being socially appropriate (i.e., doing/saying the "right" thing) frequently requires you to be inauthentic.

For example, in certain parenting situations you may feel social pressure to control your child when you'd rather be relaxed and accepting.

Quite often the real purpose of "being social" is to protect others from their own small-mindedness. Such is the case when mothers are pressured to avoid nursing in public.

So being authentic — even when it seems "anti-social" — may actually be more social, because it creates opportunities for others to question their limiting beliefs.
When you honor Who You Really Are — and you look beyond others' disempowering beliefs to honor Who THEY Really Are — you contribute to the greater good of society.
Today, whenever you choose authenticity over conventional sociality, decide that you are being social... They just don't know it yet! :)

Archives for "THE DAILY GROOVE" can be found HERE. 

Quote: Childhood is like sand in a sieve...

You're a man of high position, esteemed by your peers. And when your little tykes are crying, you haven't time to dry their tears... And see their thankful little faces smiling up at you... 'Cause their dad, he always knows just what to do....  ... You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone... Though childhood slips like sand through a sieve... And all too soon they've up and grown, and then they've flown... And it's too late for you to give...  

~Bert (Mary Poppins)

Quote: To teach our children...

Our heritage and ideals, our code and standards - the things we live by and teach our children - are preserved or diminished by how freely we exchange ideas and feelings.  ~ Walt Disney

Sleeping through the Night - take 2

I know I've posted about this subject before... but after witnessing a brand-new mama receive some advice regarding a certain book, with the push to already make her baby to sleep through the night... I felt it was a subject worth bringing back, once again...

Periods and puberty...

In my family growing up, we always had a very open door policy... so things like growing up, periods, boobs/bras, etc were no more than simply, a fact of life - not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

KB is not quite three.... and is already aware (in the simplist of terms) that big-girls (ie mommies, aunties, etc) get this thing called a period, which is God's way of cleaning the body and getting it ready to make a baby. She also already realizes, that are such things as boys & girls... and that they have different parts -- ie mommy has boobs & "girl parts" - and while daddy doesn't have {bigger, functioning} boobs, he does have "boy parts."  To her, it's just basic design... all in the way God made us....

We are also blessed to be surrounded by an amazing natural/home birthing community.... which treats things like birth & breastfeeding as a natural part of life. KB is very aware of pregnant mommy's, the fact that babies grow in their mommy's tummys... and the (natural) method to which they come out. (she actually loves watching birthing videos on YouTube - haha). And considering she is still breastfed (as well is exposed to all kinds of mommies & babies/toddlers/preschoolers that breastfeed)... KB definitely knows what breasts are for! lol!

Of course, she doesn't know yet, how babies get into a mommy's tummy. At this point, it's just one of those amazing miracles of this crazy life. But I am sure the questions will come, eventually... and when it does, I only hope I can answer a gracefully as my own mama - in a very honest, wise, and yet age-appropriate manner!
__________________

BTW, I find this thread to be very interesting...

First Menstruation Blessingway - MotheringDotCommunity Forums

When I first started, we didn't do the Redparty thing... though I probably would have (personally) been fine with it... but my mom did make a little celebration out of it, by taking me out for ice cream and buying me a pretty new dress. It was so special... and made the begging of my journey to womanhood feel so meaningful!

Quote: A Child's Gardner

I neat quote I came across the other day....
However, I am not sure who originally said it....

Sleeping through the night?

While standing with and talking to two ladies after church tonight... I heard one (an older gentlewoman) ask the other (a mom of a 1.5 month old baby) the age-old question "is he sleeping through the night yet?" At first I bit my tongue, curious to to hear the new-mama's (NM) responses.  But after a few moments of watching her fumble through her wording, embarrassingly trying to figure out the best way to say no ~ without sounding like a "bad mom" for admitting her baby, is in reality.... normal ~ the NM finally confesses that none of her other children (this is baby #4) started sleeping through the night until they were over a year old... and this little guy was proving to not be any different. ~ This, was my cue to speak up.

I couldn't help but pass on this wonderful & ensightful bit of encouragement! ~ Keep pressing on... it may not be easy now... but it *will* be worth it all!! :)

"What's Your Parenting Style?"

Ok, so for kicks, I decided to take one of those Facebook quizes this afternoon. This one was called "What's Your Parenting Style?" It asked questions like: Where is your baby most seen? a) stroller, B) often in a sling or wrap, but sometimes in a stroller or C) always in a sling or wrap.....

Anyways, here is my result. As usual, there were a few things I disagreed on (duly noted) but overall found it to be quite true, and also semi-comical. What a long way I've come...

Result: Extreme Granola Parenting.

You believe in going back to cave-mom parenting styles. You tend to be untrusting of doctors (They have their place in major medical emergencies.... but in general, are followed way too blindly. I don't think they have all the answers, and definitely are swayed by the influence of the Pharmaceutical companies!) and hostile toward mainstream parenting. (not hostile, but I they do have my condolonces!) You believe cribs and playpens are prisons (lol) pacifiers are evil (not necessarily. I always offered the breast first... but as much as I hated introducing the paci... KB was one of those babes who needed to suck to soothe, and did NOT want milk to always come with it!!) and swings and bouncers are "neglect-o-matics". (they definitely can be (and usually are)... but can be useful when used in very strict moderation!) You gave birth to your kids in your own bed (Actually my own kitchen... lol!) and think hospitals are too interfering. (Amen! Hospitals are for sick people. Birth is not a illness, it's a fact of life... and other than extreme & rare cases, birth doesn't belong in a sterile hospital!) People see you as a tree hugging granola mom and might raise their eyebrows when your 5 year old asks to breastfeed. (I hope so!) But that doesn't bother you! You feel strongly about the way you're raising your kids. (Amen!) Saving the earth is one of your main priorities. You grow your own food and make your own slings, cloth diapers (if you're not doing elimination communication) and wipes. (I believe we should be good steward of the place God has given us to live. I don't make/grow *yet*... but would love to!!! However, we do use cloth diapers & wipes, eat as healthy as possible, and EC.) When people see you with your baby you're always wearing her in a sling or wrap. Your kids don't have beds because they always sleep with you and you wouldn't have it any other way. You're wary of the public school system and believe that the only way to educate your kids is to do it yourself so you can instill in them the same principles you feel strongly about. (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!!)

I also kinda like the "Kind Of Crunchy" answer, too.. again with a few slight modifications....

"You lean more toward Attachment Parenting, natural births, homepathic remedies, and living green! You tend to question modern medicine and mainstream parenting. (explained above) You tend to delay vaccines or use an alternate schedule. (yup... like, none at all!) You aren't bothered by the fact that people tend to question your parenting style. (heeehee! - I thrive on it!). You feel strongly about the way you're raising your kids. (Amen! If I didn't I wouldn't be doing it this way!) You believe that it's our duty to make the earth a better place for our children by being more eco-friendly. (Good stewardship!) You buy organic foods whenever you can (it's all a balance!) and you use cloth diapers or seriously considered it. (I seriously do!) You've also considered homeschooling. (Planning on it!) When people see you with your baby you're usually wearing her in a sling or wrap. You tell new moms who complain about lack of sleep to try co-sleeping with baby and let them know how much you loved co-sleeping (it's awesome!!!). You believe in breastfeeding and baby led weaning, (Breast is best!) but to a point. And you'll nurse in public but modesty is important to you. (I am not going to purposely flash you... but I am not going to hide, either!) You aren't afraid to disagree with your Dr about delaying solids or vaccines. (Amen!! Solids not till after 6mos - at the earliest!!) You don't like to let your baby cry and cry-it-out methods make you cringe. (eek! ::cringe::) However, if nothing else is working you are willing to try it once the baby reaches a certain age. (A huge, No way!!) You read different books about parenting and take what you feel will work for you and your family. (everyone is at different parts of their journey... as long as you do you research, that's what's important!!) You tend to believe in trusting your instincts when it comes to raising your kids. (there is nothing like it!)"

Rant: Mainstream - NOT the only way!!

**Warning: rant ahead!!***

I really don't understand these people, who are always trying to push the mainstream way as being the ONLY right way. Or why they think they are doing me any favors by constantly trying to force their conventional methods on me & my family! It annoys me, that they think our choices & decisions are so shallow, that we will just throw them to the side for their "convenience" (or rather laziness & unwillingness to step out of ones comfort zone).... I.think.not!! ~ ARG!! While I understand that much of what we have chosen to do with our family, is beyond that of society's 'norm'.... it DOESN'T make it wrong!! And much of what we do, is "all part of raising them up in the way they should go - we try to start things as we intend [them] to go on." (yes! Well said, Kate! ~ Thanx!) So, YES, I am STILL breastfeeding... and YES, I DO breastfeed in public... and NO, I am not depriving my child, by not letting her eat sugar & crap.... and YES, I wear my toddler, just like I wore her as a baby... and NO I WON'T put my daughter in the nursery (unless I have to - again, forced!)... and YES I use cloth diapers... and NO, I won't waste my money to buy/use disposables for your convenience.... and YES, we plan to homeschool our child(ren).... and yes, we encourage imaginative & creative play, by offering simple toys & everyday items, vs overstimulating toys & tv/videos... and NO, we're NOT overly strict, mean and antisocial parents who expect too much for the age/maturity level... and NO absolutely not, will we go against our hearts, to do what YOU think we should be doing with OUR family!!

Grr....