I Will Carry You

I love that I can kiss your head

Just inches away from my lips

Our hearts beat together as I carry you

Perched up high you see my world

Then turn your head in and sleep

Resting on me you are safe

Your body next to mine you are secure

We are in tune in this external womb

In my arms you will be

Until you are ready to venture out

But until then, I promise,

I will carry you.

~ Michelle Abernathy 

via Peaceful Parenting

Thirty Days of Thanx :: Day 20

Today I am thankful for physical growth.

The medical industry had become our God. People feel incompetent in their own cognitive thinking. Even when adverse reactions occur, many parents continue to vaccinate as their doctors assure them that the cause was not the vaccine. Even if parents notice the reaction, they don't trust themselves enough to go against their pediatrician's recommendations. They are scared. They are pumping fear so forcefully parents are afraid to trust their research, intuition, and often times, common sense.

We are NOT afraid and trust the abilities of our bodies coupled with health and good nutrition to fight our battles. We believe we are not helpless victims to every disease that comes our way. We are NOT afraid and we do NOT vaccinate. The irony is that vaccine advocates call "anti-vaxers" fear mongers.

 Posted (as a repost) on Dr. Tenpenny's Facebook Page

You know your bed-sharing/co-sleeping toddler is being greatly impressed, when she points out a photograph of an empty crib [a totally foreign concept to her] in her picture book, and declares *repeatedly* : "Mama.... baby cry... aww... sad."

Dairy Farm

Today our Conscious Parenting group took a little "field trip" out to a [raw] dairy farm! 

"What's Your Parenting Style?"

Ok, so for kicks, I decided to take one of those Facebook quizes this afternoon. This one was called "What's Your Parenting Style?" It asked questions like: Where is your baby most seen? a) stroller, B) often in a sling or wrap, but sometimes in a stroller or C) always in a sling or wrap.....

Anyways, here is my result. As usual, there were a few things I disagreed on (duly noted) but overall found it to be quite true, and also semi-comical. What a long way I've come...

Result: Extreme Granola Parenting.

You believe in going back to cave-mom parenting styles. You tend to be untrusting of doctors (They have their place in major medical emergencies.... but in general, are followed way too blindly. I don't think they have all the answers, and definitely are swayed by the influence of the Pharmaceutical companies!) and hostile toward mainstream parenting. (not hostile, but I they do have my condolonces!) You believe cribs and playpens are prisons (lol) pacifiers are evil (not necessarily. I always offered the breast first... but as much as I hated introducing the paci... KB was one of those babes who needed to suck to soothe, and did NOT want milk to always come with it!!) and swings and bouncers are "neglect-o-matics". (they definitely can be (and usually are)... but can be useful when used in very strict moderation!) You gave birth to your kids in your own bed (Actually my own kitchen... lol!) and think hospitals are too interfering. (Amen! Hospitals are for sick people. Birth is not a illness, it's a fact of life... and other than extreme & rare cases, birth doesn't belong in a sterile hospital!) People see you as a tree hugging granola mom and might raise their eyebrows when your 5 year old asks to breastfeed. (I hope so!) But that doesn't bother you! You feel strongly about the way you're raising your kids. (Amen!) Saving the earth is one of your main priorities. You grow your own food and make your own slings, cloth diapers (if you're not doing elimination communication) and wipes. (I believe we should be good steward of the place God has given us to live. I don't make/grow *yet*... but would love to!!! However, we do use cloth diapers & wipes, eat as healthy as possible, and EC.) When people see you with your baby you're always wearing her in a sling or wrap. Your kids don't have beds because they always sleep with you and you wouldn't have it any other way. You're wary of the public school system and believe that the only way to educate your kids is to do it yourself so you can instill in them the same principles you feel strongly about. (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!!)

I also kinda like the "Kind Of Crunchy" answer, too.. again with a few slight modifications....

"You lean more toward Attachment Parenting, natural births, homepathic remedies, and living green! You tend to question modern medicine and mainstream parenting. (explained above) You tend to delay vaccines or use an alternate schedule. (yup... like, none at all!) You aren't bothered by the fact that people tend to question your parenting style. (heeehee! - I thrive on it!). You feel strongly about the way you're raising your kids. (Amen! If I didn't I wouldn't be doing it this way!) You believe that it's our duty to make the earth a better place for our children by being more eco-friendly. (Good stewardship!) You buy organic foods whenever you can (it's all a balance!) and you use cloth diapers or seriously considered it. (I seriously do!) You've also considered homeschooling. (Planning on it!) When people see you with your baby you're usually wearing her in a sling or wrap. You tell new moms who complain about lack of sleep to try co-sleeping with baby and let them know how much you loved co-sleeping (it's awesome!!!). You believe in breastfeeding and baby led weaning, (Breast is best!) but to a point. And you'll nurse in public but modesty is important to you. (I am not going to purposely flash you... but I am not going to hide, either!) You aren't afraid to disagree with your Dr about delaying solids or vaccines. (Amen!! Solids not till after 6mos - at the earliest!!) You don't like to let your baby cry and cry-it-out methods make you cringe. (eek! ::cringe::) However, if nothing else is working you are willing to try it once the baby reaches a certain age. (A huge, No way!!) You read different books about parenting and take what you feel will work for you and your family. (everyone is at different parts of their journey... as long as you do you research, that's what's important!!) You tend to believe in trusting your instincts when it comes to raising your kids. (there is nothing like it!)"

A Pacifier... Good, Bad or Ugly?

When KB was first born, I had people try to tell me things like .... "pacifiers aren't good," "They will cause her to not nurse properly"... "They make it hard to establish a good milk supply"... "just use the boob when the need comfort"... yada, yada, yada.  But, while I can see how they may be true for some.... it's not straight across the board, best for all. For me, it boiled down to following my heart as the mommy - you really do know best for your baby!!
I will admit, I too hesitated giving KB a paci at first.... but when I finally (after a restless night's sleep, and much encouragement from my mom) broke down & gave it to her, I could believe the difference it made! She didn't want something to always come out when she sucked (made her mad!).... lol.... but she did want to suck, to be soothed. Now, she has weaned herself from the paci... and there are times (going to sleep, sitting in church, etc) that I really miss it!

-----------------------------

Just a random bit of info: the Greek word for pacifier is πιπιλα :: said "peh-PEE-lah "

Autism vs. vaccines...

Recently, a friends sent me a link to an article, reporting on the court ruling against parents with autistic children. We have discussed the whole pro/cons to vaccinating before, and he thought I'd be interested. The article stated, vaccines are not to blame for their children's neurological disorder. (AOL article here). As a non-vaxing parent, with a autistic sister... here's my response back to him. (which I hope is comprehensible. My head is swimming, and I always have the hardest time sorting those thoughts into intelligible sentences.)...

I agree. Vaccinations *don't* CAUSE autism. BUT, I do believe that vaccinations *do* bring out the results of a genetic disorder which causes autism. And unfortunately, we do not have the testing or knowledge available to know which children are going to be affected, until it's too late.

Besides, the same ridiculous argument could be made for cancer. Considering that [approx] 98% of the death certificates for cancer patients don't list cancer as the cause of death... it's usually pneumonia, heart failure, or the like... you could claim that cancer doesn't kill. When in reality, it's all cause & effect.

Besides, I have learned to take news sources with a grain of salt. I have learned that they do tend to be somewhat one-sided... and usually heavily persuaded by the money-making, scare tactics of the "Big Pharm". Which unfortunately, also seem to be all about treating the symptoms, rather than the cause. Just because a court ruled that in this instance a vaccine (MMR in this case) didn't cause this case of autism, it does not mean that straight across the board it doesn't and hasn't happened. My sister is just one example. Christina, Heather & I were all vaccinated as children.. H & I are fine.... Christina is not. One of her symptoms of her disorder is her wheat allergy. Becca, and now we are finding out, KB also have those symptoms. However (thankfully), neither of them have been vaccinated. Could you imagine what would life be like, had mom & I not followed our hearts & studied it out? You just don't know... you **can't* know. And to me, that risk is not worth taking.

Rant: Mainstream - NOT the only way!!

**Warning: rant ahead!!***

I really don't understand these people, who are always trying to push the mainstream way as being the ONLY right way. Or why they think they are doing me any favors by constantly trying to force their conventional methods on me & my family! It annoys me, that they think our choices & decisions are so shallow, that we will just throw them to the side for their "convenience" (or rather laziness & unwillingness to step out of ones comfort zone).... I.think.not!! ~ ARG!! While I understand that much of what we have chosen to do with our family, is beyond that of society's 'norm'.... it DOESN'T make it wrong!! And much of what we do, is "all part of raising them up in the way they should go - we try to start things as we intend [them] to go on." (yes! Well said, Kate! ~ Thanx!) So, YES, I am STILL breastfeeding... and YES, I DO breastfeed in public... and NO, I am not depriving my child, by not letting her eat sugar & crap.... and YES, I wear my toddler, just like I wore her as a baby... and NO I WON'T put my daughter in the nursery (unless I have to - again, forced!)... and YES I use cloth diapers... and NO, I won't waste my money to buy/use disposables for your convenience.... and YES, we plan to homeschool our child(ren).... and yes, we encourage imaginative & creative play, by offering simple toys & everyday items, vs overstimulating toys & tv/videos... and NO, we're NOT overly strict, mean and antisocial parents who expect too much for the age/maturity level... and NO absolutely not, will we go against our hearts, to do what YOU think we should be doing with OUR family!!

Grr....

ME... Green/Crunchy??

One of the Forums I frequent, recently asked us to fill out this survey....

1. Do you recycle? Yes! Anything & everything I can!

2. Do you do anything to reduce the amount of waste you and your family produces? How about reducing the amount of resources you use? I hardly run the lights during the day, and try to keep things turned off as much as possible.... Have changed most of our light bulbs to Compact Fluorescent... Hang some stuff on the clothesline as an alternative to running the dryer.... Use reusable grocery bags... Clean using natural ingredients like vinegar, baking soda, etc... EC & cloth diaper (also make/use reusable wipes)... Donate/FreeCycle to pass on items we no longer use or need... Have/use an water ionizer instead of buying bottled water... Reuse glass jars & bottles for drinking & storing water... Buy my clothing second hand... instead of getting my license, I either walk, carpool or just don't go... (I also just got a bike & trailer, so now I can get around that way, too!).... and we hardly use paper towels any more (only for dog/poop messes!)... next to never use paper plates. (we still do use some napkins - but I want to buy some cloth & make some reusable ones - paper is just so convenient!!)....

3. Do you reuse anything to save money or waste? We have reusable grocery bags... we have a reusable coffee filter, instead of using the paper ones... we reuse glass jars & bottles for drinking & storing water.... and I try to use tupperware-type of storage, instead of plastic bags/foil/etc., as much as possible!

4. What is your ecological footprint? Do you think it has changed for the better in the last year? Don't know what it is, but I know it's changed for the better!

5. What kind of impact do you feel the "reduce, reuse, recycle" philosophy has on our lives, if any? On my life, personally, or society in general?? Society in general has become disturbingly blasé about it... but is starting to become a little more aware, as this whole "going green" movement has come about. - Personally, I feel it encourages us to be more prudent & economical with the resources of which we are blessed to have!

...and while reading other peoples responses, and I couldn't believe how many people were so blasé about the subject! Not that I believe in global warming and some of that such nonsense... but because I feel we ought to be more prudent & economical with the resources of which we are blessed to have! God has given us this beautiful earth to live on... and I feel we ought to be better stewards of and take more responsibility for it's care! 

The more I thought about it, the more the others' answers really started to bother me - until I stopped & began to think it through...... If you would have asked me a few years ago what my lifestyle would be like now, I would have never categorized myself as being green or crunchy.... A domestic goddess, yes (lol)... an attachment parent, most likely... but crunchy? uh, yeah, what's that?.. a hippie? heh, right.... However, that attitude is really actually quite funny, considering that (without the label)... I was pretty much raised by a AP & crunchy mom. From early on, we were taught the importance of recycling, not littering, good stewardship, frugality, living debt free, living simply & having a strong family unit. We were homeschooled, and taught to cook and sew simple items from a young age. Much of my wardrobe consisted of handmade or hand-me-downs, as Marmee always stressed the importance of $$ and how to stretch a dollar. She wore & breastfed every one of us, and made sure we all knew the benefits of eating a well-balanced meal. We even had times (depending on finances & stages of life) where we did all, most of, or (at least) some of the following:  ate completely healthful & organic.... shopped  exclusively at health food stores rather than  the reg. grocery stores... juiced... made our own bread.... used herbal/natural remedies (pretty much always did that, regardless of our financial state)... used only reusable item (like grocery bags)... and even managed an organic produce coop (and did so for a long time)! 

But even though I was naturally implementing many of the things I was raised with (cooking vs eating out, recycling, shopping second-hand, cutting coupons, not spending a lot of money on extravagances, etc.)... I never saw myself as anything more than the average young adult... who was newly married, trying to get on our feet. Then (almost two years later) I got pregnant, and began going the birthing center, to see a midwife for my care. It all went uphill from there. I guess the saying "When you have a baby is changes the way you see the world" is more true than I realized. Throughout my pregnancy, I was reminded of all the wonderful benefits of cloth diapering babywearing, & cosleeping... given some awesome tips... and even learned about some cool new things, like Elimination Communication & some not-so-known methods of wearing your baby - like a wrap or a Mai Tei! Then, after the beautiful homebirth of our daughter, I started attending play groups, LaLeche League Meetings, babywearing groups, & EC meetings... where I found myself being enlightened on issues much deeper than milestones, breastfeeding, ring-slings & having a diaper-free babe. I was being encouraged to research what's in things, and the impact they have on our daily lives. From shoes to plastics - cleaning to health... I have had an increasing conviction & interest in living more eco-friendly, and am finding (even a year later), the education is endless if you're willing to listen & learn!

And now, as I proceed down the road of this incredible journey... I am on a quest to discover even more practical changes (read: not extravagant - though I hope to be able to make the switch someday.... right now [unfortunately] we can't afford all new Energy Star appliances or a new, hybrid vehicle) we can make, to adapt our lifestyle to not only being economical, but also more healthful. - Some of the things I would love to begin using/implementing are: Cloth napkins, Frequenting more of the local fruit stands, starting our own vegetable/herb garden & compost pile, Get a machine & start sewing a little (things like cloth napkins!), begin regularly making our bread (& maybe even pastas - that would be cool!), and using even more alternative & healthful ingredients when cooking & baking.

"Just because everyone else is doing something doesn't make you a bad mom. Just because they do something that you don't agree with doesn't mean they are bad moms. You will know if something is wrong simply by being attentive and educating yourself. Have faith, you can raise children without a doctor. It's better than having to try and raise them in spite of one."

~ MrsPil

A little background on us & no-vaxing....

The non-vaccination decision was pretty much a "no brainer" for us. Technically, we are both second-generation... but while B is totally with me and backs me 100% (it was most definitely a mutual decision!)... he really has no interest in actively seeking/researching any information, beyond that. They are bad... that's good enough for him.

A little history... DH had some vaccinations before his mom began reading, researching & learning about vaccinations. After that he didn't have any more. - his brother & sister were never vaccinated.

My second born sister (Christina) has an autoimmune disorder (like celiac disease), that reacted with her vaccinations, and caused her to now be [thankfully only mildly] autistic. Not knowing what was going on, mom started researching the vaccinations (and the connections between the two), and stopped all further vaccinations on the both of us. My other three sisters were never vaccinated! Since then, we have come to learn that my youngest sister (Becca) also has the disorder.... and after much studying and know further knowledge of what she didn't know with Christina.... it hit mom that according to Becca's tendencies, etc... she would be just like Christina (if not worse) had she been vaccinated. (talk about getting hit with a load of bricks!) So, in a nutshell, one of my reasons (among many) for our decision not to vaccinate, is because autoimmune disorders have an hereditary influence, and close relatives (especially first degree relatives, such as children, siblings, and parents) have a higher risk of being affected with the condition. Why risk it with something that isn't necessarily going to work anyway?