A Woman's Worth

A friend shared this on her Facebook this evening... and I thought it was way too good to not share...

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question:

'What kind of man are you looking for?'

She sat quietly for a moment before looking at him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?'

Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes.

She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself?

I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...
or woman for that matter..

I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?'

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more.

I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain.

She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.

I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden.

I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man.

I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need someone whom I can respect.. In order to be submissive, I must respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot.

She replied, "I'm worth a lot".

Breastfeeding...

An excellent excerpt on breastfeeding/extended breastfeefing from my friend Jessica's blog...

I just don't know why people get so uptight about nursing a toddler. I don't know why they think it is excessive or unnatural or obscene. And I don't know why they think it's their business to disapprove in the first place! Why don't people research things out a little bit when they have a problem with something? Taken directly from the World Health Organization's website, this the summary of their stance on length of time to breastfeed:

"exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life is the recommended way of feeding infants, followed by continued breastfeeding with appropriate complementary foods for up to two years or beyond."

So then why do people have such a problem? For starters, it is recommended that an infant be EXCLUSIVELY breastfed for the first six months. No water, no juice, no watered-down cereal, no baby food, no Cheerios, JUST BREASTMILK. Most mothers are told (by their OB, pediatrician, mother, sister, who knows?) that they should try to nurse for six months, a year at most, then wean. Pediatricians sometimes recommend supplementation with sugar water, etc. Why? And then, the mother who nurses her toddler gets looks and words of disapproval for trying to give their child the best start, the start that has benefits that have been shown to be evident even through adulthood! And why do women not get told about the WHO recommendation to nurse for up to two years or beyond? Because the pediatricians get visitors from formula vendors? Because they get all kinds of benefits and goodies if they recommend them to their patients? In a healthcare provider's vow to "do no harm", I, as a nurse, take that a step further...to strive to not only do no harm, but to also try to achieve the best possible result for my patient. I won't go so far as to say that formula harms...after all, it is the only choice for some! But if a doc were trying to achieve the best possible result for their patient, why would they advise a new mother to only nurse for six months or a year, then abruptly wean? Support that nursing momma! Cheer her on! Tell her to nurse for as long as she's able! Try to give that baby the best possible start in life in order to see the best possible result in adulthood! Now, all of this being said, I know that some mothers cannot nurse, cannot exclusively nurse, or cannot nurse for that long. Sometimes their milk dries up in spite of every effort to keep their supply. Sometimes their baby just isn't gaining weight properly and they have to supplement. Sometimes they just make a choice not to...and that's their business and not mine. My biggest issue is being an informed consumer. I have mentioned before how I encourage this to my patients and to family members who ask me medical questions. Their job is to learn and know, and make educated decisions. If they are educated and still make a different decision than I would, so be it. But to be misinformed and make a decision based on misinformation, or to just "go with" something because that's what other people around them have done, well, I feel that's just not right. It's not right in the hospital setting, in the physician-patient relationship, or in a mother's choice of what to put into their child. In Christian circles, we talk about how, yes, it's great to have a pastor to listen to and to hear preach, but you simply can't take his word for everything! You need to read, to study, to search "to see whether these things were so", right? So why should it be any different in life? Even people with the best intentions can be wrong. We're all human. We make mistakes. We misconstrue things. So when it comes to important decisions, be it nursing or surgery or what kind of food you put on your plate, be an educated consumer.

Walk For Life...

Despite the *early* morning.... we had a Beautiful day... for a 1.5 mile walk... to represent the $1500 YCS raised.... to give us a 2nd place total & 1st place for contacts reached... To make the Walk for Life was a success!

Chosen? Me too! Choose Life!

Happy International Midwifes Day!!!

“Many Western doctors hold the belief that we can improve everything, even natural childbirth in a healthy woman. This philosophy is the philosophy of people who think it deplorable that they were not consulted at the creation of Eve, because they would have done a better job.”

Kloosterman

“The experience profoundly changed my perspective. In the hospital, I hadn't perceived the anxiety and foreboding that permeated birth until I experienced the impact of its absence among the midwives. The peace, wonder, and intimacy were infinitely greater. What a compelling difference!”

~Heidi Rinehart

Thank you Harmony... and ALL our local and international midwives, for all that you do, each day in order to turn birth experiences into the most wonderful, magical, and special days of our lives!!!!! My peaceful pregnancy and amazing birth would never have happened, if it wasn't for YOU! ♥ Our family's life is forever changed because of you... and we are SO grateful!

PRAYERS!! (8pm: UPDATE at bottom!!)

I want to ask for your prayers!!! Heather & Bryce Eric were supposed to be released from the hospital** but after some tests, were postponed until tomorrow. I just got a call from my Mom, and after some x-rays, have discovered that the lower part of BE's right lung is collapsed. They are going to put him in an oxygen tank for the next 8-12 hours (most likely the latter due to the time of day), and then take another x-ray to see where we stand. They have requested that the oxygen tent be in their room, and the doctor said he'd do his best to make that happen. Please pray that the staff will be able to arrange something, so he won't have to be separated from Heather. Also, unfortunately, this means Heather will not be able to breastfeed BE for the next while... but given how shallow his breathing is, hard he is having to work to breathe... he's not really nursing, as it is. The nurses are supposed to get H a breast pump, and if she can get any colostrum, they will give it to BE. Otherwise they will monitor his hydration, and give him some electrolyte solution if needed. Please pray for BE's quick healing, and ease in breathing.... and that weight or jaundice do not become an issue!! Thankfully, the rest of his lungs & his heart look healthy and fine.... and we are praising the Lord they are not having to transfer him to a bigger hospital or anything! Most likely they will not be released tomorrow - discharge all depends on getting & keeping BE's lung inflated.

(Photo taken last night!)

Thank you for your prayers! - I will keep you updated as I know more!!

~Tiph

**(for clarification, her midwife delivers in a birthing center area IN the hospital)


Edit: 7:56 - What a day!

I just talked to mom again, and Heather was able to pump about 3oz in just a short time... so they will be giving that to BE from his tube!! That's a major praise! Unfortunately, they were not able to put the oxygen tent in Heather's room. Meaning he is down in the nursery for the next 8-12 hours as he gets his treatments. Please pray for strength for Heather. She is having hard time, as she cannot hold him while he is getting his treatment... so if he cries, etc. it's very difficult to deal with. She called my mom, and Marmee is headed back up there, to lend some extra support.

Then, on top of all this news of BE.... my dad came over this afternoon, and went on & on about job/life problems... and then, my mom calls back to tell me about some other things going on.... INCLUDING that my Grandma (her mom) was recently diagnosed with cancer again. (It's in the same lung as she had partially removed a few years ago - she will begin treatment (chemo) next week.) I just don't know how much more I can take! I really feel so helpless. I am praying... but it's just not the same! I want to BE there with them, and see my nephew, and *hug* all of them, and tell my sweet sister everything will be alright, and eat Oreos with Peanut butter with her.... ::tear:: this is SO hard!! ::tear::

(and of course, it doesn't help (emotionally) that a certain monthly visitor came to town this afternoon.... arg!! )

Final (disappointing) Best Buy Update...

Best Buy just called.... it's a no go. :-( They said "all our applications have been filled." Interestingly enough, they did ask him if they could keep his application open through the holidays (they usually only keep them for 30days).... but unfortunately, we don't have time to wait around... so it's on to other things. B says he's ok... but he's being very quiet, which is what he does when he's upset or concerned about something. I know providing for /taking care of us, is his utmost concern... and he's really feeling disheartened right now. Please pray that God will make whatever path we need to take next, very clear. Thank you!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

On a lighter note... I have to say I have the greatest two best friends in the entire world. Within mere minutes of hearing things didn't work out with the job today, I got very heartfelt messages/calls from both of them... checking on us, and assuring me that if there is anything they can do, or anything we need... esp anything that might help lessen our worries right now... to please let them know!! I also have received amazing support, love & prayers from my family. It's because of them, I know we are going to be ok, and can make it through this!!

Another post blessing from "Generous Wife"...

(an issue I am seriously trying to work on!!)



When your husband says something that you disagree with, the immediate moment may not be the best time to contest what he says. Sometimes it's kinder and more respectful to deal with it later privately and sometimes it's really not all that important and can be passed over altogether.



See everything, overlook a great deal, correct a little. Pope John XXII

Think Generous!

Shortly after we were married, I signed up for this daily email digest called "the Generous Wife" (likewise, my hubby gets companion elist, "the Generous Husband"). Everyday I receive an email with an idea on how I can bless my husband. (a mix of romantic, practical, sexual, relational, and spiritual). The tips aren't always appropriate for where we are.... but we are encouraged to take advantage of the ones that apply.... and then use the rest as a tool to spark your imagination, to find new ways to bless your husband.

Anyway, the subject lately has been a series "Things That Destroy Marriages"... talking to husbands about behaviors and attitudes that are destructive to marriage. Since the feedback from the series had been encouraging, they decided to send us wives the series... with a feminized/edit of the husband's tips and with a few more added that are more common to women.

Today's email esp. blessed me..

Tuesday July 22, 2008
From The Generous Husband series Things That Destroy Marriages ~.

From Paul to the husbands:
When you blow it, big time or in a minor way, do you deal with it in a way that blesses your bride? Do you apologize? Do you deal with it in a way that makes her feel you understand why your actions (or words) were wrong or painful? More than all of this, do you really repent - that is to change direction - make a real effort to not repeat what you have apologized for? If you are repeatedly apologizing for the same thing, something is wrong. If you care about her, you don't want to hurt her, and if you keep hurting her over and over for the same thing it quickly starts to look like you don't care.

By the way, you can also apologize for her feeling hurt by unintended consequences of something you say or do. Even though you didn't intend to hurt her, you can feel bad that you did.

But what about things that "shouldn't" hurt her but do? Maybe she is too sensitive about something - maybe she even admits she's too sensitive about something. Don't make it seem it's your fault if it's not, but you can say "I'm sorry that hurts."

My thoughts:
All of this is appropriate for us gals. Do say you're sorry when you've done something hurtful or wrong. Do be serious about changing when you need to. It's ok to say you're sorry over your spouse's pain, even when you haven't done anything wrong.

Never ruin an apology with an excuse. Kimberly Johnson

Think generous! Lori <><

10 more days!

Only 10 more days until Marmee and the girls come down for KB's birthday! I can't *wait* till they are here, and I can hug their necks!! ...I could use a good hug right now!!



(A picture of my Marmee & Me - Fall, 2005) ----------------------->

Though we're scattered.. I am always grateful for the love, concern & rally of longtime friends!!

This morning, I received a little hope! After B's response to seeing KB's invite last night... (basically he went into this little rant on how he had to get an advance on this week's paycheck b/c of all the bills scheduled to go out in the next few days... and we hardly have enough to cover them, so don't get my heart set having anything to spend on a birthday party, etc.).... I was feeling slightly discouraged. Today, as I was talking to Marmee, I mentioned what happened and she helped me brainstorm ways we could make her party work... without spending very much money. (she's SO good at that!!) Here's some of what we came up with....


Location: Unless you reserve them so they are all yours, the Fountains are free. They open at 10am, so though her party isn't until later, we'll go first thing, claim the tables, and then work around any extras as they come.


Food: It's going to be a potluck... so everyone bring a dish, and we'll provide drinks, & cake. For drinks we are going to borrow some of those big 10-gallon drink dispensers from church, and have one filled with lemonade, one with water, and one with sweet tea.... all easy & cheap!


Cake: Mom is going to make/decorate the cake, as one of her gifts to KB. She will decorate it to match the same theme as the invitation... and even offered to find & use a healthy recipe which uses a natural sweetener, so that we're not dealing with a ton of sugar (something we're trying to avoid with KB)!!


Decorations: From all of the past birthdays my mom has done for us... she has enough [solid] colored cake plates, in the themed colors to not have to go buy anything! Praise the Lord!! We will use plain white Styrofoam plate for the food... and plain little Dixie cups for the drinks... both of which, we also already have. Mom has a "Happy Birthday" banner in similar colors as the theme, with little cute butterflies and dragonflies on it... not the exact same style... but it will definately work! And a ton of little bubbles left over from H's wedding that we can use as favors if we want!


Invitations: I am having them printed as regular 4x6 photos (like I did for KB's birth announcements) through Wal*mart. For 30 prints, shipped directly to my home, it only cost us a little over $5, (that's only about 16¢ a piece! - 29¢ less than the pre-printed ones!! - Whoohoo!)... which my wonderful Marmee paid for! They should be here by the end of the week! (next Tues at the latest)!



God is SO good!